Poetry 'n Prose

Failed Poem

This day brought a moment rare:
I snatched a poem from the air
as it went drifting by,
much as a schoolboy with a net
rejoices in his skill to get
a passing butterfly

Yet when I strove to pin it down
with verb and adjective and noun
it soon began to seem
that I’d destroyed the very thing
which first caused my heart to sing,
and killed a perfect dream

[Based on a poem I wrote found in a scrapbook Shipdham, Norfolk 1978]

By 67paintings

A dialectical site of poetry, painting and the odd musical excursion into the unknown.

15 replies on “Failed Poem”

I have notebooks of those very poems…
though I wish I had thought to create one such as this one…
I like it very much!
Take Care..

Too many years to remember LOLs…
I wrote through a” troubled” childhood to keep me sane I think, I wrote my first story in second grade, after I fell in love with “James and the Giant Peach” that was the same year the Beatles came to America, LOLs…
( I think it was second grade), I lived in Alaska , the same year as the earthquake….
I am always surprised at what makes me remember ..your poem brought up several LOLs…
I enjoyed it very much…
you are very gifted with words…

I’m still spellbound by Roald Dahl’s wonderfully books… I think he sparked a generation of writers, as did Rudyard Kipling my favourite children’s author.
And yes writing does keep us sane, and humour is an essential ingredient :)
I like the way you use of pictures to augment your poetry.

I still have that book, I refused to give it back to the library, my mom decided I needed it so she just paid the library fine ….
“Blue Roses” comes to mind ..when I think of Mr.Kipling…(well and more of course)
Thank you but to be honest the pictures seem to speak to me, or I hear a word..a thought and as I write what I feel, the picture comes to me…I am never sure how that happens…
I sometimes think a picture is not only worth a thousand words, it will speak a thousand words if one will just listen…
I am slowly wandering through your pages…I like the energy that flows through your thoughts ….feels real..

I agree with you Mary, pictures can draw on our thoughts and prompt us to write more. For me examples of this or my two plays, No Fixed Address and The Final Cut, they both started with the drawings. I could see a story there and it (eventually) came…

Actually, though I wish I was in Thailand, I’m now in China, a land of barred windows, concrete, beautiful hearts and smashed dreams.
Will be back in Thialand in July … too long, my friend, too long.
take care,
enjoying your poems.

This is a profound piece… it says a lot, being still. I’m sure you are familiar with Sufi philosophy and my favorite philosopher Rumi.

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