New Born

You blow out seven candles
and make a wish
I see
behind the mask,
the character of a man
you’ll be
and faces often are masks
hiding the secrets
that lay within;

When I held you
in my arms
and you smiled at me
in your innocent
new-born way,
I knew it to be
pure truth
breaking through like
the sun
and shining.

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11 Replies to “New Born”

  1. Sweet and lovely.
    It’s your son birthday Lee? If yes please tell him Happy Birthday, may he be a nice, caring gentleman and wise as his father.

    Much love,
    mei

  2. That’s a tender thought… when I held my newborn son, I had a moment of great fear… ‘how will I grow you up? You are so tiny, so fragile…’ Occasionally, I still get that feeling even as he is set to go to college. :) Parents live with fragile hearts, no? :)

  3. Oh yes, I recognise the ‘great fear’ you speak of Meenakshi. I think it comes with territory of loving someone so much that you’d give your life for that person without second thought. Love hurts. It hurts you when they are hurting and you do whatever is necessary, sometimes unnecessary, to protect them. We almost bubble wrap them, if we’re not aware of it going on.

    We can do the best to stop life’s trips and scrapes, but they still happen every day. When it happens I am reminded of this ‘great fear’ again and again, it eats me up, but I don’t beat myself up as much as I use to. I’m not perfect and I’ve never been perfect, especially as a parent and so I watch out for those message that tell me I should be, and there is a lot out there!!

    I frequently delude myself that I have achieved some kind of wisdom / expertise, but life soon breaks wind and laughs in my face. So experience tells me I fail often, to understand all my children’s needs. I don’t have all the answers to their questions.

    But there’s a strength in knowing this vulnerability, it gives you courage to face the daunting task of trying, making mistakes and learning to be imperfect. Then we might just do something *right* and laugh in the wind of life.

    You say parents live with fragile hearts? They do. Absolutely and we learn to mend broken hearts through the stages of growing up. A child faces the world of joys and sorrows and there’s little to prepare them for these life changes. I see huge battles in my son. His little heart struggles everyday, trying to come to terms with the every-changing centre of things, that he has no control over. It like he’s a tiny white mouse on the huge head of a woolly mammoth. He screams out ‘Left. Left. Right. Right. Straight on.’ Every so often, by complete coincidence, the mammoth goes to the left or right whilst he is screaming ‘Left’ or ‘Right.’ So he thinks the beast is under control at last. He’s finally cracked it. But at the next ‘Straight on’, it goes boldly right-wards. And he didn’t understand why…

    As his Dad I think it’s my role to explain that we cannot control life, we just ride the great big mammoth and let it take us along where it’s going. When he stops fighting the greater forces he can make smaller choices and achieve his personal goals. We can finally get the Lego model built.

    Sorry if all this is too much waffling, I’ve thinking and writing this as summary of my feelings / intuition / knowledge, but truth some days I don’t cope. I fall to pieces and go completely off track. Yet my children are most forgiving, their souls know I love them both dearly and place their happiness a long way before my own. It’s enough, isn’t it? For all our faults, love redeem us. That and icecream…

  4. Yes, ice cream is a powerful hand maiden for parents…:) But what I often tell my son as he gets ready to take on the world on the front foot is, let the big battles go… fight the little ones, those are the ones you can win.
    The big things in life, those that change your life forever, are in any case, decided by the woolly mammoths whose backs we are on.

    Thanks for your words… strengthen a parent’s vulnerability, and give the courage to keep trying, making mistakes and carrying on.

  5. i read your thoughtful comment ( much more ) above after reading this piece…
    I think of my role with my children as being a safe place for them to fly back to when they finally leave my nest. A place of warmth, consistency,support and love…and just a little (or a lot) of silliness even though they are all now grown up or at least well on their way.

  6. Thanks Andrea, your comment is absolutely spot on. I guess in one sense we are all children and never too old for silliness and buffoonary, maybe the ability to find laughter in the absurdities of life is essential for growth and harmony. It’s typical though, we don’t always have a camera to hand to capture these fleeting moments. :))

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